Give them what they want not what they need.

In observing a lot of alzheimer's patients, you must remember they are living in the moment and you should honor this. I here a lot of caregivers worried about their loved one lossing weight, also they can not get them to eat. You must remember that the taste buds of an alzheimer's patient are one of the first thing attacked by the disease, and all taste except sweets for some reason are reduced. Also, you must remember that nutrition sometimes should not be the caregivers primary concern. To gain weight try sweets (like their favorite ice cream shake or malt) in the morning and the afternoon, they will always like this. If they do not get their nutrician then give them vitiamins, but go to in the moment, give them sweets and they will gain the needed weight and energy to fight off disease and get them active. This is an example of the reverse thinking required by all caregivers. Remember your loved one is living in the moment and does not remember anything short term, so give them what they want and examine if that just could be what they need.

Validation Therapy

Validation Therapy validates "feelings" not facts. It works especially well with an Alzheimer's resident. Years ago when the concept first was introduced I took the course and was volunteering at a Nursing Home. There was a resident who was especially combative and was always yelling the same sentence - "Get the dress!"
The staff insisted that there wasn't a dress in her room. After a few instances of hearing her yelling, I stopped at her door and she yelled at me, "Get the dress!!" I walked to the closet and asked her what it looked like. She answered, "it's blue." I asked, "plain blue?" and she said, "no, blue with flowers."
I asked her where she last wore the dress and she said, "I never wore it. My father wouldn't let me. I bought it to wear to a dance and he wouldn't let me go to the dance."
That created quite an impact with me. A dress for a dance - 70 years ago. I empathized with her and we started a discussion about disappointments in life. She never yelled, "GET THE DRESS" again...

Living in the Moment

Yesterday while visiting with my mother, I was sitting with 5 residents of the Alzheimer's facility. We were sitting in a tight semicircle of chairs watching the Weather channel. Each time it cycled through, we discussed that the northeast was having a lot of snow, that it was good to have some sunshine here and that it was probably going to rain on Sunday. Then one lady got up came over to another lady and said, "I hear you're going to be leaving us." The second lady answered, "Yes, I think my family is coming this afternoon to take me home." (both ladies have been here over a year with no plans to leave) Then the first lady replied, "We're going to miss you." And was answered by "I'll miss you too." Then we returned to the Weather channel. After about three minutes the scene was repeated, just as sincere as the first time. Then a few minutes later, it was repeated again. None of the group viewed this as unusual. I just smiled. I wasn't laughing at them at all; I thought, this is great, these women are doing what all women do, talk about the weather and talk about what's happening in their lives. For them, this was reality - they were living in the moment. For this moment they weren't afraid of the unknown and they weren't lonely. And I thanked God for letting me be a part of their day.

Moment of Clarity

For almost all Alzheimer's patients there are a few times when they have a moment of clarity. For just a moment you can almost see them as the person that they used to be. Then the moment will pass and you'll see that unfocused gaze in their eyes. When you get a moment of clarity take advantage of it and tell them that you love them. But when they go back into their own world, still hold their hand and hug them and thank God for the blessings of those few moments.